I love being a teacher. I went and visited Whitehall today to obtain a recommendation and it was nuts that people still remembered me! All the teachers from classrooms up and down the hall remembered me. Coincidentally, the French teacher was saying how she was thinking of me earlier in the day before I popped in. I saw several students who freaked out at the "Mr Chow" sighting and according to my former cooperating teacher, many pop into the class all the time asking about me, especially when he uses "Mr Chow-isms" that I have left behind. It was actually touching to see that I did make an impact during the short period that I was there, and it makes my career all the more rewarding. I just really can't process into words, how satisfied and overjoyed I am to see what I have accomplished and what students have accomplished with the small prodding I gave them. It really makes me feel no regrets ditching corporate America and taking the plunge into financial insecurity as a teacher All I need is some Jesus and my students!
I am starting to feel that it was good that I got stuck in Columbus for another year. It gives me a chance to interview with Teach for America, but also it has really given me a chance to develop as a staff member at school. I'm sure I would have done fine getting that teaching job elsewhere, but being the assistant this year has given me a chance to do a lot of other work out of the classroom. For instance, I'm connecting with other staff and building those relationships as well as taking part in clubs and committees. It has given me a chance to really develop to my full potential I believe...and it has been fun. I mean I played in the staff-student volleyball game today and taking part in History Club as well as planning of the Asian Heritage Day next month. Not to mention, I feel good about taking part at church again, doing worship and other stuff...so I guess I can say that it's been a good day which is something I needed after not having much of a high last week!
So a few hours ago I made the final round of Teach for America! I was actually a bit worried since I didn't think my phone interview went over so well. I didn't hit on the points I wanted to, especially after writing out two pages of notes, and I noticed I said "um, uh" a couple times. I personally thought it was pretty fail, especially compared to how I interview in person...but I guess I will learn if and when I have a phone interview again as this was my first phone interview ever. But none of that matters too much now as I made the final round and get to do everything in person! Idk what else to say other than I'm pretttttyyy excited for this all-day interview. I was just thinking about 'Slumdog Millionaire'...maybe "it is written..."
After much struggling with much introspection, soul searching and plain craziness within my own head, I figure typing something out would help me cope. To be forthright, I still feel hurt and off on my own a lot. Between having to deal with having my hopes dashed, feelings played with and being the only one in my graduating class that is still around, I fail to find much that has seemingly gone my way the past 6 months. With certainty, I can say I've grown through the experiences that have been dealt in front of me, but it the past weeks have just made me also realize that consequently I have lost out in other aspects. But of course, it is always God's way of relaying a message and through it I've found some solace in Him, my dog and my camera!
It is just funny how one's pets have a bond with you...just a little pat, a rub on the head and they are happy to sit and help you relax. My camera has been getting a workout too, especially now that I got a few new toys to add to kit (bright side to having a real job...$$$). It is actually fun exploring around town, something which I have never done before after living here for 9 years...I'm doing it on my own since people are 'down by not down' so to say, hahah. But whatevers, like I mentioned, I'm the only one left from my HS graduating class so I guess it is to be expected that I do my own thing since everyone either has faded off into the distance or are younger than me. Guess it is not bad sometimes since everybody's lack of logical thinking or complaints about (insert word here) or (and repeat) ceaselessly eats away at my patience.
Anyways, I have found the time to really reflect upon our God and Saviour...I have offered to make amends or connections with people to really deal with the heart of a few of my issues. As much as I though things would work out well, they didn't-- and I really just think that it's just a way of knowing that no matter what, people will let you down. Some how I'm holding out some hope that this is some preparation for me carving a niche for myself next year on my own...but can't assume too much and need to let things come as they are.
Tonight, I've been throwing some stuff together and it's starting to come together as a song...been working on trying to get a recording together before the end of the year...just need to keep praying for it to come together.
'I offer, my praises To the one who is faithful through it all Through every heartache and pain I still lift my praise to Your Glorious Name'
We shall see where it leads...
But do give the following track from the new Hillsong album a gander. It's some good stuff...."You are the answer...":
So I've started my new job teaching 6th and 7th graders! It is exciting and teaching the ESL kids is so much better than teaching normal middle school kids...they are much more respectful and have a great desire to learn. It makes me smile too that every little thing I share with them brings them amazement and wonder since they are still new to the country. I mean, the concept of packing 105,000+ people into a stadium to watch a football game was like crazy to them as well as the Script Ohio that is performed by the marching band. I hope though that it drives them to work hard and get an opportunity to participate in activities such as band as I had one of those heartwarming/fuzzy moments seeing them march around outside as we explained the concepts.
But the job is not without frustrations, as I'm only the assistant and I've been assigned to a teacher who I get along with well for the most part, but not 100% of the time. I can see another assistant having issues as a lot is required of the assistant, maybe even beyond the defined duties, and the fact that she is slightly all over the place at times and contradicts herself. But being me, I'm just trying to be chill, but at times I do get rankled a bit still, I'm human...just gotta remember I'm there for the kids and this is not my own classroom so ultimately I'm not held responsible for all that goes on.
My frustrations seem to be creeping over to other aspects of my life too unfortunately...I really don't know what it is, maybe I'm old or just finally learning to take a stand over my perspectives and values. I have lots of ideas of how things should work, but seemingly there's always a naysayer who starts give me crap and winds up being a bit discouraging. I've never been really bothered with stuff like this before, but like I say, think I'm old and cranky or my convictions have really taken root and I'm maturing-- image that. One example is money, yeah I'm stingy at times but I also splurge when I deem necessary...but I hate getting crap from people (like my sister). I like to hold my money until I absolutely believe I should be spending since I put myself through 5 years of college, bought a car, pay my own bills and work long hours to earn my paycheck. God's put me in a good spot to be able to have a decent standard of life, so why waste it and wind up bumming like a lot of people? There is no need to spend every penny of your paycheck and have to ask your parents for money...honestly, I'm saving a lot at the moment to get ready for my own place next year, and for the future. Think my life experience and record of taking care of my finances should speak for itself...
I guess just dealing with issues, like money, puts me in a weird spot too. I'm definitely feeling like I'm really in between groups...I'm definitely not as connected with the college group as much anymore, but there's a lack of yuppies to hang around either. It is like this at school too as most the teachers are older...heck, I got asked by another teacher today if I was student teaching, lol. But whatevers, all I need is God to get me through as there is no disappointment in Him.
There is some good news though that hopefully rectifies a few of the issues I have. I made it through the first stage of Teach for America! I have a phone interview coming up soon, so that is something to pray for especially. I'm really hoping I can get in as I can get my own classroom and also be placed with other recent grads! I do get down on my chances though every once in a while cause the stats keep haunting me for some reason-- probably just some discouragement to keep me from doing good in this world. The acceptance rate for the last year was less than 10%...More than 35,000 applicants for fewer than 3,500 spots..but hey, I made it through stage 1 even though I had my worries.
"You are the First and the Last Beginning and the End The promise of wonders to come The future is in Your hands Caught in the light With all the earth we will sing"
So today, I did not leave the house at all...and I think that's a first time in many months, and it was a Saturday too! I actually slept in, ate, watched TV, read, washed my car and browsed the internet all day- and it was quite relaxing to be quite honest. I was quite relieved to not have to deal with anyone other than my dog for the whole day But at the same time, I am quickly realize that my summer is about to end and I need to make something of it! I haven't really left Columbus at all this summer, partially because people were already on their own trips or everyone that I hang out with is just plain old poor and can't fork up to do something or go anywhere >< I realize I'm stuck in between-- I hang out with college people while I'm a young professional. Maybe I ought to just take a short road trip myself...
Anyways, I just finished wrapping up my Teach for America application a couple days ago and I get to find out if I move onto the next stage in about 5 days. I'm really hoping I can get in, but at the same time it's not up to me, if it was I'd already be outta here and in my own classroom! Can't complain too much as I no longer have to punch the clock everyday and slave away for corporate America...But I do have a good feeling about this for some reason...either way, I'm polishing up my resume and cover letter just the same as I see some postings for positions still! One last push before the school year officially starts...
All I need is some Jesus and my students!
